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12 Slow Living Themes from “Slow” by Brooke McAlary (Book Summary)

08.27.2018 by Kyle Kowalski // Leave a Comment

As much as I loved the book Voluntary Simplicity, I was in need of something simple and refreshing after finishing it. Brooke McAlary’s new book, Slow: Simple Living for a Frantic World, did the trick.

I’ve been waiting for this book to be released and mentioned it in the final post of the slow living series: Slow Living 301: How to Start a Slow Living Lifestyle.

Brooke McAlary is well-known in the slow living community, the author of Destination Simple, and the creator of the Slow Home Podcast where she’s interviewed more than 100 people about what it means to live a slower life.

When we let go of…stress, tension, clutter, excess, expectations, shoulds, obligations, judgements, ego, ownership, trying to please everyone, specific outcomes, total control, perfectionism, impossible standards, being everywhere, being everything to everyone…we gain lightness, clarity, space, time, energy, purpose, compassion, acceptance. We allow ourselves to move forward. And slowly, we discover that contentment and simplicity lie on the other side. — Brooke McAlary

Quick Summary of Slow: Simple Living for a Frantic World

In simple terms, Brooke says, “This book is about how you can choose to slow down.” At the end of the book, she makes it clear that the book’s mission is to give an introductory overview of slow living and the importance of finding your own “why.” The “hows” must come from you. There’s a clear theme that the “hows” require you to take action and “do the work.”

Here are some of my favorite quotes that help describe the book:

“This book is an introduction to the foundations of slow living—intention, simplicity, mindfulness, balance, connection and enough examples of tiny, imperfect actions to encourage you to begin the journey.”
“Take some time to read this book from beginning to end, giving yourself insight into the different elements of creating a slower, simpler life.”
“The foundation of slow remains the same: a return to high-quality basics, a reevaluation of the largely unnecessary ‘must haves’ of modern life, and a focus on going small, local, and community based.”
“The feeling of lightness that comes from having less is often the best persuasion.”
“There’s one other thing I want you to take from this book: permission.” (Note: Giving yourself “permission” was also one of the biggest themes from Shauna Niequist’s book Present Over Perfect)
“It helped me to change not only the way I thought, the way I spent my time, the things I owned, the way I used technology, the food I cooked, the information I consumed, but also the way I viewed the world and the way I lived in it.”
“It’s a call to humanity, our connection to each other, and all that we have to gain by opening our eyes. It’s an invitation to live, not just exist.”

12 Themes from Slow: Simple Living for a Frantic World

Brooke covers a range of topics that introduce the reader to a slow living lifestyle. I’ve organized the most memorable quotes into 12 different themes that will give you a gist of what the book is all about. Enjoy!

1. Awareness begins with an Aha Moment

People don’t typically wake up and change one day without a compelling reason. I actually highlighted Brooke’s aha moment along with 10 others in this post: 11 Slow & Simple Living Leaders Share Their “Why”.

“After our second child was born, I was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression.”
“I had no margin. No room for change or flux. Mentally, I was operating beyond capacity, and when something happened that threw me, even a little, I had no room to expand. There was no buffer to help me cope, so I blew up.”
“I remember sitting in my psychiatrist’s office, recounting the previous day and the anxiety that bloomed every time I stopped doing . She looked at me and asked, ‘Have you ever considered doing less? Maybe slowing down a bit?'”

2. Acknowledge the Joneses & the Mainstream Consumption Society

Ever wonder how the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses” was created? Brooke’s book actually begins with a resignation letter to the Joneses: “Please accept this letter as my official notice, effective immediately.” She also addresses lifestyle inflation.

“Life was abundant with all the good stuff we’d spent so much time chasing. And I was utterly despondent. Yes, life was abundant. Abundant with things.”
“Rather than question our priorities or try to work out why we were so unhappy, we got busier.”
“Our society and economy are built upon a strong foundation of consumption and a firm expectation that we will contribute, so much so that choosing to live with less stuff is viewed as countercultural.”
“Take your purchasing power back from marketers, and choose a product that will prove a good investment of time, money, and resources.”
“We live in a time when we can make a difference and support brands that are being proactive on issues we care about…Whatever issues are most important to you, make a choice to support those doing good in the world, and acknowledge that you also have the ability to contribute to causes that are important to you simply by purchasing with intention.”
“Care more about community and sharing resources. Care more about quality. Care more about the things you already own and use. Care more about the people making your stuff. Care more about the planet. If you do need to buy things, buy once, and buy well. Look for the best quality you can afford. Look for things with multiple and varied uses. Look for items that can be passed on to someone else once you’re finished with them.”

3. Ask Yourself A LOT of Questions

My questioning started with big questions that led to an existential crisis. But, not all questions have to be big questions.

“Whenever I have the opportunity to talk face-to-face with people about creating a slower life of less, the response is almost always the same: their shoulders slump as they sigh and say, ‘Oh, that’s what I need.’ Usually, that’s followed up with the question ‘But how?’ This book is an introduction to why a slower life is a more contented one, as well as a practical guide to how to achieve it.”
“As I moved through the gradual and messy process of slowing down, the question I was asking myself was the same one so many people have asked me over the years: life is already too busy, how am I supposed to find time for slowing down? If I’m already struggling to do all the things required of me every day, isn’t ‘slow down’ just another item on my to-do list? Another way to make me feel guilty for not doing enough?”
“The far more common question is ‘How do I start?’ and it comes from people who are simply overwhelmed at the thought of beginning. They’re tired, stressed, overcommitted, and struggling to find any peace or simplicity in their day-to-day existence. They want to learn how, but they just can’t find an easy entry point. It all looks too big or time-consuming.”

4. You must Create your own Purpose (or your “Why”)

Creating purpose is one of the biggest themes on this blog. If you don’t have a why, the hows will never stick.

“I didn’t know what I thought, and I didn’t know what I stood for. And without those two things, it proved really difficult to make changes in my life and make them stick. I needed to find my Why, but I didn’t know how.”
“There was an enormous disconnect between the things I valued most and my everyday actions. Even back then, in my haze of depression, anxiety, and numbness, I knew what the most important things to me were, but I didn’t live as though I did.”
“‘Write your eulogy in three sentences’ it instructed me.”
“By placing these priorities at the forefront of my mind, I have slowly created a life aligned with values that are important to me and my family, a life aligned with my Why. What I’ve discovered is that the Why needed to come first, while the How followed behind.”
“The words are my compass, helping me navigate difficult decisions and awkward conversations, and have given me the confidence to explain why I’ve made a particular choice. Having and knowing my Why helps me decide what actions to take, which issues are worthy of my time and concern, and which are not. Understanding my Why has helped— and will continue to help— steer me and my family through the inevitable challenges and obstacles that life provides and create a life much more closely aligned with our Why than if we’d simply left it up to chance.”
“Our Why is the antidote to overload. It’s a call back to the important things and a reminder that we don’t need to carry the weight of everything, only those things that are important to us.”

5. Start the Gradual Process of Downshifting

Downshifting into slow and simple living is a gradual process.

“Gradually, we realized we didn’t want to be the Joneses. In fact, we didn’t even like them very much. So we opted out. And while imperfect and still evolving, we’ve never been more at peace.”
“As my raw, real, feeling self was revealed, two things began to happen. I began to experience more. More joy, yes, but also more realization, more discomfort, more pain, more bittersweetness. More awareness of the beauty and tragedy of life. For the first time in many years (maybe ever), I was becoming emotionally available, and it was stunningly uncomfortable. The second thing that happened was I began engaging. I began really listening to what people were saying, considering what I was saying, and paying attention to what I was doing. I suddenly wanted more from life.”
“There was a lightness to me I hadn’t experienced before as I began to see the benefits of this slow, sustainable work.”

6. Declutter your Physical Environment

Looking for a beginner’s guide to decluttering? After everything I’ve read, I recommend Marie Kondo’s KonMari Method.

“I began the process of slowing and simplifying my life by dealing first with the excess of stuff in our home.”
“Over the next twelve months, my husband Ben and I decluttered stuff with a tenacity we’d previously reserved for acquiring it. We let go of more than twenty thousand items from our home that year (yes, I kept track) and many thousands more over the subsequent years.”
“But only after months of decluttering could I even begin to examine other areas of my life that needed simplifying. That’s when I started to consider my thoughts, my calendar, my opinions, my systems…It was a clear case of my psychological state gradually mimicking my physical environment, eventually leading my family to an entirely new way of living.”
“Minimalism is often tied to slow living, and while they are a wonderful complement to each other and I personally tend to a more minimalist aesthetic, they also aren’t the same thing. At its core, minimalism is about stripping out excess stuff in order to make room for the things that matter, but it so often becomes twisted around the competitive idea of how much we should own, how many items we can live with, how bare the walls are, how tiny the home, how tightly edited the capsule wardrobe. All these things can be part of a slow, simple life, but I find so many people get overwhelmed at the idea of ‘doing minimalism right’ that we essentially swap the old Joneses for new.”
“The new Joneses seem to have conflated the minimalist aesthetic with minimalism as a lifestyle (they are very different things).”

7. Transition into Intentional, Purposeful, Slow Living

I wrote a 3-part series on slow living that will give you a comprehensive overview of the philosophy. Start here with Slow Living 101.

“I don’t want slow living to become synonymous with decluttering, but I do want it to become synonymous with intention. And if you can work through the process of decluttering with intention, then you can feel confident that a slower, simpler home waits on the other side.”
“Author and slow-living advocate Erin Loechner told me that to her, slow living is a duality of caring more and caring less—that is, working out what’s worth caring more about and letting go of the things that aren’t.”
“Slow living is a curious mix of being prepared and being prepared to let go. Caring more and caring less. Saying yes and saying no. Being present and walking away. Doing the important things and forgetting those that aren’t. Grounded and free. Heavy and light. Organized and flexible. Complex and simple.”
“Remember, the reason you’re slowing down and simplifying is to make life better, so don’t add a whole heap of stress to the equation unnecessarily.”
“A significant part of slow living is learning to think intentionally and purposefully, and a little planning and forethought can go a long way.”
“Slow living is about quality time and making things count.”
“The lightness I feel when I acknowledge that right here, right now is enough, is a letting go. It’s contentment born of gratitude.”
“Slow living is about intention, spending more time on things that are important and less on things that aren’t. Getting organized (enough) is a way to do more of the important and less of the unimportant.” (Note: Sounds a lot like Essentialism)
“A big practical part of slow living is building an awareness and learning how to combat the feeling of being overwhelmed before it takes over. Awareness and action. Noticing and evolving. Paying attention and making it count for something.”

8. Pay Attention & Practice Mindfulness Moments

“I’d uncovered one of life’s secrets, and I’d witnessed a miracle, all because I paid attention.” (Brooke on watching a flower bloom overnight)
“You can’t outsource mindfulness. The right combination of app and course and book won’t deliver a mindful life to your door by close of business the next day.”
“You don’t really need to give this any time. There are so many ways to adopt mindfulness in your current day that the argument of not enough time is completely moot. Choose one task you already do, and turn it into a mindfulness moment…Simply pay attention to what you’re doing in that moment — the sensations, actions, smells, and tastes. That’s mindfulness.”

9. Digital Minimalism will help you Disconnect to Reconnect

Although Brooke doesn’t use the term “digital minimalism,” her descriptions and tips sum it up nicely.

“Modern connection technology has delivered us a paradox. We have more connection and less humanity. We’re hyper-engaged and increasingly isolated. We have more information and less critical thought. We see more tragedy and have less empathy. We enjoy more privilege but are less satisfied. We are sensitive to personal offense and desensitized to the suffering of others.”
“Slow living provides an opportunity to step back, pay attention, and question the ways we use technology, to recalibrate our relationship with the constantly switched-on, logged-in world. It offers us an opportunity to disconnect in order to reconnect.”
“The technology isn’t the problem; it’s how we choose to use it. And it is a choice.”
“Slow living is a call to disconnect. Switch off our phones and get outside. Talk to people at the coffee shop. Offer a stranger an anonymous kindness. Volunteer our time to others. Have a spirited conversation with someone who doesn’t see the world like we do. Invite depth to our lives.”
“The more I connect with people in real life, the more I have conversations and see their strengths, beauty, and imperfections, the more I realize we’re all alike. We’re all human. We’re all trying.”

10. Travel at a Slower Pace

Interested in slow travel?

“The more we’ve let go, the more my nomadic spirit emerges. A house full of stuff, a calendar full of commitments, a credit card full of debt—these things are heavy and made travel and exploring feel out of reach. Now, we feel free to wander. It doesn’t need to be a big, expensive overseas vacation we love camping or going to a new beach. It’s more about the pace with which we do it.”
“We use travel, in all its forms, as a time to connect with each other, different cultures, new experiences, and a slower pace.”

11. Finding Time & Balance Require Making Choices

“We each have twenty-four hours in a day, and when I began looking at how I chose to spend those twenty-four hours, it became clear that not all action was created equal.”
“I began to take responsibility for my time and how it was spent. Once I realized I had a choice, it was simpler (though not always easier) to spend it more wisely.”
“Balance is finding the correct weight for every area of life and understanding that the correctness of that weight will change over time. Balance is fluid and flexible. Balance is alive and aware. Balance is intention.”
“Tilting is the opposite of constant balance. It’s willingly pouring my attention into an area that needs it (or the area I need) and acknowledging that I will be tilting away from other parts of life into meditation, into creativity, into play, into noticing, into people, into a good book. Away from doing, planning, list making, screens, comparisons.”

12. Take Action & Stay on the Journey

“Every tiny step matters. Every time you make a seemingly insignificant shift toward your Why, every item you let go of, every deep breath, every kindness, every positive choice adds up to the creation of a life centered on what’s important to you.”
“Whatever you choose to do with your excess, simply act.”
“As an advocate of small, consistent action, I’d encourage you to go small first and move on to bigger tasks as your confidence builds.”
“Did slowing down and simplifying make our lives easier? Not really. And certainly not in the beginning. Simpler, yes, but not easier. What it did do was put the important things front and center. We can now, most days at least, rest easy in the knowledge that we’re giving those important things the attention, love, time, and space they deserve. And we can also see that those important things really aren’t things at all.”
“You are allowed to make changes to the way you’re living. You’re allowed to look after yourself. You’re allowed to decide what is important to you. And you’re allowed to create a life with those things at the center. It’s OK to go slowly. It’s OK to say no. It’s OK to be different. And it’s OK to let go of caring about the Joneses. Just don’t replace them with a new set. Instead, create a life full of the things that matter to you, and watch as the world reveals beauty and humanity and connection. Slowly. Of course.”

Write Your Own Eulogy — Then Live Up To It

08.22.2018 by Kyle Kowalski // Leave a Comment

Who do you want to be when you grow up? Better yet, who do you want to be when you die? Why?

We live our lives one day at a time. Sometimes it’s easy to let the days blur together for long stretches at a time. But if we aren’t living intentionally, we could end up wherever the wind takes us:

If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable. — Seneca

If we don’t make choices, choices will be made for us:

A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance. — Hunter S. Thompson

Not all of us will be lucky enough to live to 100+ years old. In fact, if you live to be the current average lifespan in the US, you will have lived for just 1% of recorded history. Regardless of how much longer each of us have, I think we’d all like to avoid the #1 regret of the dying:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. ― Bronnie Ware

Writing your own eulogy can help you live a life of no regrets. Fast forward into the future, and get ready to write!

Write Your Own Eulogy

I just read Brooke McAlary’s new book Slow: Simple Living for a Frantic World. She references the book 642 Tiny Things to Write About that says, “Write your eulogy in three sentences.” Here’s Brooke’s self-created eulogy:

Quick to laugh, creative, compassionate, with a wicked sense of humor, Mom was never without a new plan or adventure on the horizon. She made one hell of an old- fashioned, was spontaneous, loyal, introspective, and believed wholeheartedly that we all have a responsibility to leave the world a better place than we found it. Mom, we’ll miss you always. Thank you for our roots, but thank you even more for our wings.

Don’t worry about getting it exactly right. Remember that you can edit your life purpose (and eulogy) at any time.

Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly. — Marcus Aurelius

Would you ever write your own eulogy? Have you? If so, please share it in the comments to inspire others!

Humanity is a Teenager — We Will Evolve Through Simplicity

08.09.2018 by Kyle Kowalski // Leave a Comment

This is the second post inspired by the book Voluntary Simplicity by Duane Elgin. You can see the first post here: Top 10 Most Common Reasons for Choosing Simple Living.

I truly think this may be one of the most important posts that will ever appear on this blog.

Why is it so important? It’s a complete mindset shift to think about simple living as progress instead of regress. It’s not reverting to a simpler time in the past or necessarily a back-to-the-land movement.

I believe this is critical to “marketing” simplicity to mainstream society: building awareness and belief, changing behaviors, and becoming a sustainable society of the future. Many more people will be on board if simplicity is viewed as sophisticated evolution.

Voluntary simplicity does not mean a return to a more primitive past but rather a movement ahead to a more sophisticated, compassionate, and collaborative future. — Duane Elgin

Simplicity is Evolutionary Progress, not Regress

Elgin offers the following definition of progress:

Integrating the historical insights of (Arnold) Toynbee and the material insights of (Buckminster) Fuller, we can redefine progress as follows: Progress is a twofold process involving the simultaneous refinement of the material and nonmaterial aspects of life.

Toynbee found a strong connection between simplicity and human progress.

And, Elgin summarizes the purpose and promise of the human journey as:

Humanity is on a heroic journey of awakening into the stunning reality that we are beings of cosmic connection and participation who are learning to live within a living universe.

A growing group of people are already aware of this and leading the way:

Pioneers of Earth-friendly living reveal that ‘small is beautiful.’ Small changes that seem inconsequential when viewed in isolation are of revolutionary significance in their cumulative impact.

And, of course, now that you and I have awareness from reading this, we are responsible too:

We are each responsible for the conduct of our lives—and we are each unique. Therefore we are each uniquely responsible for our actions and choices in this pivotal time in human evolution. There is no one who can take our place. We each weave a singular stand in the web of life. No one else can weave that strand for us. What we each contribute is distinct, and what we each withhold is uniquely irreplaceable.

A simple, sustainable, and sophisticated vision of the future sounds great! But, where are we today?

Humanity’s Challenges Today:

Elgin covers all the global adversity trends, including: unsustainable population growth, wide and deep poverty, profound climate disruption, the end of cheap oil, global water shortages, mass extinction of plant and animal species, and our unsustainable global footprint.

However, he believes there’s one challenge that’s bigger than all our physical crises: “a crisis of consensus around a collective vision for a promising future.”

Despite the severity of our physical problems, our deepest challenge is to overcome an invisible crisis: a lack of collective consensus and cohesion around a compelling sense of purpose. — Duane Elgin

Humanity is Currently in the Teenage Stage of Development

I thought this was an interesting exercise. Elgin has been a speaker all over the world over the last few decades. He would ask his audiences the same question:

When you look at the overall behavior of the human family, what life-stage do you think we are in? In other words, if you estimate the social average of human behavior around the world, what stage of development best describes the human family: toddler, teenager, adult, or elder?

And, regardless of region, continent, country, ethnicity, religion, or anything else, he would get the same answer:

With little hesitation, people consistently vote that, as a social average, the overall human family is in its teenage stage of development.

Around the world, there is clear intuition and understanding that, putting us all together, the human family exhibits many adolescent behaviors. Here are examples often mentioned: Teenagers are rebellious and want to prove their independence. Humanity has been rebelling against nature, trying to prove that we are independent from it. Teenagers are reckless and tend to live without regard for the consequences of their behaviors, often thinking they are immortal. The human family has been recklessly consuming natural resources as if they would last forever. Teenagers are concerned with outer appearance and with fitting in materially. Many humans are intensely concerned with how they express their identity and status through material possessions. Teenagers are drawn toward instant gratification. As a species, we are seeking our short-term pleasures and largely ignoring the long-term needs of other species and future generations.

The Simplicity Shift

Ronald Inglehart has been leading the work on the World Values Survey and has seen humanity’s values shifting over time:

Emphasis is shifting from economic achievement to postmaterialist values that emphasize individual self-expression, subjective well-being, and quality of life. As well, people in these nations are placing less emphasis on organized religion and more emphasis on discovering their inner sense of meaning and purpose in life.

As mentioned earlier, some people have been shifting for a long time now:

Beneath the surface of modern society, a deep shift has been under way for more than a generation. This shift responds to the excess of consumer society and reveals a search for greater balance in living.

The phase of material growth has matured and now requires a shift (or downshift) to growth in nonmaterial ways:

A portion of our species has experienced a period of extraordinary material growth and is now moving into a stage where further growth could be primarily of a nonphysical nature. In turn, this would liberate resources for those in desperate need and foster a more peaceful world.

Simplicity Supports a Higher Quality of Life

Elgin says, “Simplicity that is voluntary—consciously chosen, deliberate, and intentional—supports a higher quality of life.” He goes on to list the following rationale:

Fosters a more harmonious relationship with Earth
Promotes fairness and equity among people
Cuts through busyness, clutter, and complications
Enhances living with balance—inner and outer, work and family, family and community
Reveals the beauty and intelligence of nature’s designs
Increases resources available for future generations
Helps save animal and plant species from extinction
Responds to global shortages of oil, water, and other vital resources
Keeps our eyes on the prize of what matters most in life — the quality of our relationships with family, friends, community, nature, and cosmos
Yields lasting satisfactions that more than compensate for the fleeting pleasures of consumerism
Fosters the sanity of self-discovery and an integrated approach to life
Blossoms in community and connects us to the world with a sense of belonging and common purpose
Simplicity is a lighter lifestyle that fits elegantly into the real world of the twenty-first century

“Far from withdrawal, a path of conscious simplicity promotes our intimate involvement with life.”

With conscious and direct involvement comes clarity.
With clarity comes insight.
With insight comes love.
With love comes mutually helpful living.
With mutually helpful living a flourishing world civilization is made possible.
Rather than abandoning the world, those choosing a life of conscious simplicity are pioneering a new civilizing process.

What do you think? Are you on board with the future of simplicity and the next stage of development in the human evolutionary journey? After all, we will only be here for 1% of recorded history. Please share your thoughts in the comments.

“Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life” (Book Summary)

08.07.2018 by Kyle Kowalski // 2 Comments

If you’re just looking for a quick overview of the ikigai concept, check out this previous post: Ikigai: The Japanese Purpose or “Reason for Being”.

This post is a summary of the book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles.

I’m currently working on an eBook about creating your life purpose and was hoping this book would be a deep dive into the “how” of ikigai. However, it’s more of an introduction to a variety of different topics including: the Blue Zones, logotherapy, longevity, flow, tai chi, yoga, resilience, and more. If you’re new to those topics, then this is the book for you.

Quick Summary of Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life

As mentioned above, this book covers many topics related to the “art of living.”
The authors define ikigai and the rules of ikigai; they conducted a total of one hundred interviews in Ogimi, Okinawa to try to understand the longevity secrets of centenarians and supercentenarians.
“What do Japanese artisans, engineers, Zen philosophy, and cuisine have in common? Simplicity and attention to detail.”
“The authors of this book wish you a long, happy, and purposeful life.”

What is Ikigai?

In Japanese, ikigai is written by combining the symbols that mean “life” with “to be worthwhile.”
“Translates roughly as ‘the happiness of always being busy.'”
“There is a passion inside you, a unique talent that gives meaning to your days and drives you to share the best of yourself until the very end. If you don’t know what your ikigai is yet, as Viktor Frankl says, your mission is to discover it.”
“Our ikigai is different for all of us, but one thing we have in common is that we are all searching for meaning. When we spend our days feeling connected to what is meaningful to us, we live more fully; when we lose the connection, we feel despair.”
“Our ikigai is hidden deep inside each of us, and finding it requires a patient search. According to those born on Okinawa, the island with the most centenarians in the world, our ikigai is the reason we get up in the morning.”
“Once you discover your ikigai, pursuing it and nurturing it every day will bring meaning to your life.”
“They have an important purpose in life, or several. They have an ikigai, but they don’t take it too seriously. They are relaxed and enjoy all that they do.”
“One thing that everyone with a clearly defined ikigai has in common is that they pursue their passion no matter what.”

Sloww Ikigai Book Diagram — Source: *Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life* by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles

The 10 Rules of Ikigai

Stay active; don’t retire.
Take it slow.
Don’t fill your stomach.
Surround yourself with good friends.
Get in shape for your next birthday.
Smile.
Reconnect with nature.
Give thanks.
Live in the moment.
Follow your ikigai.

Stress & Existential Crisis:

“Many people seem older than they are. Research into the causes of premature aging has shown that stress has a lot to do with it.”
“The American Institute of Stress investigated this degenerative process and concluded that most health problems are caused by stress.”
“Existential crisis, on the other hand, is typical of modern societies in which people do what they are told to do, or what others do, rather than what they want to do. They often try to fill the gap between what is expected of them and what they want for themselves with economic power or physical pleasure, or by numbing their senses.”
“Those who give up the things they love doing and do well lose their purpose in life. That’s why it’s so important to keep doing things of value, making progress, bringing beauty or utility to others, helping out, and shaping the world around you, even after your ‘official’ professional activity has ended.”

Morita Therapy:

“Many Western forms of therapy focus on controlling or modifying the patient’s emotions. In the West, we tend to believe that what we think influences how we feel, which in turn influences how we act. In contrast, Morita therapy focuses on teaching patients to accept their emotions without trying to control them, since their feelings will change as a result of their actions.”
“Logotherapy and Morita therapy are both grounded in a personal, unique experience that you can access without therapists or spiritual retreats: the mission of finding your ikigai, your existential fuel. Once you find it, it is only a matter of having the courage and making the effort to stay on the right path.”

Flow:

“The happiest people are not the ones who achieve the most. They are the ones who spend more time than others in a state of flow.”
“In order to achieve this optimal experience, we have to focus on increasing the time we spend on activities that bring us to this state of flow, rather than allowing ourselves to get caught up in activities that offer immediate pleasure.”
“Concentrating on one thing at a time may be the single most important factor in achieving flow.”
“Japanese people often apply themselves to even the most basic tasks with an intensity that borders on obsession.”
“Our ability to turn routine tasks into moments of microflow, into something we enjoy, is key to our being happy, since we all have to do such tasks.”
“Artists, for example, who carry the torch of their ikigai instead of retiring, have this power. Art, in all its forms, is an ikigai that can bring happiness and purpose to our days. Enjoying or creating beauty is free, and something all human beings have access to.”
“Artists know how important it is to protect their space, control their environment, and be free of distractions if they want to flow with their ikigai.”
“Many such artists might seem misanthropic or reclusive, but what they are really doing is protecting the time that brings them happiness, sometimes at the expense of other aspects of their lives. They are outliers who apply the principles of flow to their lives to an extreme.”
According to Csikszentmihalyi, in order to focus on a task we need:
- 1. To be in a distraction-free environment
- 2. To have control over what we are doing at every moment

Ogimi, Okinawa:

“We realized right away that time seems to have stopped there, as though the entire town were living in an endless here and now.”
“Many Japanese people never really retire—they keep doing what they love for as long as their health allows.”
“The Japanese are skilled at bringing nature and technology together: not man versus nature, but rather a union of the two.”
“Okinawans live by the principle of ichariba chode, a local expression that means ‘treat everyone like a brother, even if you’ve never met them before.'”
Celebrations seem to be an essential part of life in Ogimi.

Slow Living:

“Being in a hurry is inversely proportional to quality of life. As the old saying goes, ‘Walk slowly and you’ll go far.’ When we leave urgency behind, life and time take on new meaning.”
“Looking back, our days in Ogimi were intense but relaxed—sort of like the lifestyle of the locals, who always seemed to be busy with important tasks but who, upon closer inspection, did everything with a sense of calm. They were always pursuing their ikigai, but they were never in a rush.”
“They are always busy, but they occupy themselves with tasks that allow them to relax. We didn’t see a single old grandpa sitting on a bench doing nothing.”
“The restaurant is right by the sea and seems like something from the planet Tatooine, from Star Wars. The menu boasts in large letters that it serves ‘slow food‘ prepared with organic vegetables grown in the town.”

Secrets of the Centenarians & Supercentenarians:

“Over the course of a week we conducted a total of one hundred interviews, asking the eldest members of the community about their life philosophy, their ikigai, and the secrets to longevity:
- Don’t worry
- Cultivate good habits
- Nurture your friendships every day
- Live an unhurried life
- Be optimistic”
“Eat and sleep, and you’ll live a long time. You have to learn to relax.” — Misao Okawa (117 years old)
“I’ve never eaten meat in my life.” — María Capovilla (116)
“Everything’s fine.” — Jeanne Calment (122)
“Your mind and your body. You keep both busy, you’ll be here a long time.” — Walter Breuning (114)
“I just haven’t died yet.” — Alexander Imich (111)
“Food won’t help you live longer…The secret is smiling and having a good time.”
“My secret to a long life is always saying to myself, ‘Slow down,’ and ‘Relax.’ You live much longer if you’re not in a hurry.” (Note: Hooray for more slow living!)
“The key to staying sharp in old age is in your fingers. From your fingers to your brain, and back again. If you keep your fingers busy, you’ll live to see one hundred.”

Longevity Diet:

“One hundred percent of the people we interviewed keep a vegetable garden, and most of them also have fields of tea, mangoes, shikuwasa, and so on.”
“Locals eat a wide variety of foods, especially vegetables. Variety seems to be key. A study of Okinawa’s centenarians showed that they ate 206 different foods, including spices, on a regular basis. They ate an average of eighteen different foods each day, a striking contrast to the nutritional poverty of our fast-food culture.”
“They eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables every day. At least seven types of fruits and vegetables are consumed by Okinawans on a daily basis. The easiest way to check if there is enough variety on your table is to make sure you’re ‘eating the rainbow.’ A table featuring red peppers, carrots, spinach, cauliflower, and eggplant, for example, offers great color and variety. Vegetables, potatoes, legumes, and soy products such as tofu are the staples of an Okinawan’s diet. More than 30 percent of their daily calories comes from vegetables.”
“Grains are the foundation of their diet. Japanese people eat white rice every day, sometimes adding noodles. Rice is the primary food in Okinawa, as well.”
“Eat fish an average of three times per week.”
“Consume fewer calories: an average of 1,785 per day, compared to 2,068 in the rest of Japan. In fact, low caloric intake is common among the five Blue Zones.”
“Tofu, Miso, Tuna, Carrots, Goya (bitter melon), Kombu (sea kelp), Cabbage, Nori (seaweed), Onion, Soy sprouts, Hechima (cucumber-like gourd), Soybeans (boiled or raw), Sweet potato, Peppers”
“Okinawans drink more Sanpin-cha—a mix of green tea and jasmine flowers—than any other kind of tea…Okinawans drink an average of three cups of Sanpin-cha every day.”
“White tea, with its high concentration of polyphenols, may be even more effective against aging. In fact, it is considered to be the natural product with the greatest antioxidant power in the world—to the extent that one cup of white tea might pack the same punch as about a dozen glasses of orange juice.”

Other Memorable Quotes:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” — Aristotle
“To be able to concentrate for a considerable amount of time is essential to difficult achievement.” — Bertrand Russell
“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” — Washington Burnap
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” — Viktor Frankl
“Nana korobi ya oki (Fall seven times, rise eight.)” — Japanese proverb
“Metabolism slows down 90 percent after 30 minutes of sitting. The enzymes that move the bad fat from your arteries to your muscles, where it can get burned off, slow down. And after two hours, good cholesterol drops 20 percent. Just getting up for five minutes is going to get things going again. These things are so simple they’re almost stupid.” — Gavin Bradley

Have you read the book or found your ikigai? Share what was most beneficial for you in the comments.

You can check out all of my book summaries here.

Purpose Driven Life: Your Beliefs → Your Behaviors → What You Become

07.26.2018 by Kyle Kowalski // Leave a Comment

You may have heard one of the following quotes before:

Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right. — Henry Ford

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. — Buddha

Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
— Frank Outlaw

The first quote is about beliefs. The second quote is about beliefs and behavior. The third quote ties everything together (Note: I often see this quote attributed to Gandhi, but some quick research suggests otherwise).

Recently, I came across an even more succinct and impactful way to get the same point across.

The Purpose Driven Life

I’ve been doing research for an upcoming eBook on life purpose. It’s nearly impossible to research purpose without coming across Rick Warren and his book The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?

We’ve actually had the book at home for years, but I’ve never read it! I think it’s finally time to see what all the hype is about.

Whether you agree with Rick or the religious angle of the book, it’s hard to argue with the results: it’s the #1 non-sponsored book on Amazon if you search “purpose” or “life purpose” with 4.5 stars and nearly 5,000 reviews.

My research ended up taking me to a TED talk that Rick Warren gave in 2006 where he said:

Your worldview determines everything else in your life…what we believe determines our behavior, and our behavior determines what we become in life. — Rick Warren

You can watch the full video here:

Your Beliefs → Your Behaviors → What You Become

I paraphrased the above quote to “Your Beliefs → Your Behaviors → What You Become” or “Beliefs → Behaviors → Become.” This is a simple way for me to remember this continuous loop.

If you aren’t excited with where you are or the path you are on (what you are becoming), check your behaviors. If you don’t like the actions you are taking in life, check your beliefs. You can visualize the loop forward and backward to ensure you are making steps — even if they are small — on the journey you want for your life. Don’t forget you can edit your purpose at any time.

Interested in another perspective on life purpose? Check out ikigai, the Japanese “reason for being,” from the Blue Zones.

Have you read The Purpose Driven Life or already defined a life purpose? Let me know in the comments.